struggling with patriarchal passages

SCRIPTURE: Numbers 30
OBSERVATION/APPLICATION:
This chapter is not about vows first of all, it is about “relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and his young daughter still living in his house”. [Numbers 30:16], applied to vows. “Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself” [Numbers 30:13]. I hate to say this, but this reminds me of the law in Afganistan that “strips women of rights as simple as leaving the house without permission from a male relative and as extreme as allowing a man to have sexual intercourse with his wife even when she says, ‘No.’” (CNN).

I have to admit, I do not like the viewpoint that underlies this chapter, that men control the decisions and actions of their wives and daughters. What do I do with this? Reject the bible altogether, cut out the pieces I don’t like? Only pay attention to Jesus, and ignore the rest? Or how about interpreting this passage positively through the lens of headship? Are there Christians today who would apply this verse [Numbers 30:13] today?

In speaking about divorce, Jesus said “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” [Matthew 19:8] This verse makes me think that there are commands in Moses’ Law that God allowed him to shape according to the sin-shaped context, commands not in harmony with God’s original creation design. In other words, the patriarchal framework in this passage does not reflect God’s original intent for male-female relations. It was not this way from the beginning!

I have not mentioned the “vows”, not because they are not important, but because this other issue is a struggle for me. As I wrestle with difficult passages about male-female relations, I try to remember the following:

1. When in doubt, give God the benefit of the doubt – I doubt my own interpretation or understanding.
2. The overwhelming message of grace, reconciliation, healing between husbands and wives, etc. overcomes the few difficult and contrary (to me) passages.
3. God will hold abusive husbands and fathers accountable for their failure to exercise Christlike headship and sacrifice.
4. Jesus modeled a healthier, positive attitude to women that ought to shape our own treatment, however we view headship.

PRAYER:
Lord, I admit that I do not like the premise behind this chapter. Show me where I am reading it wrong, help me to understand Your intent from the beginning!