Beyond forgiveness?

THE STORY OF JESUS: Matthew 12:30-32
“Anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Matthew 12:32)
Some people are desperately convinced that they have committed this sin.
And yet their sorrow suggest otherwise, for sorrow is a fruit of the Spirit in them.
Its got to be more than one time saying something against the Spirit.
“It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.” (Hebrews 6:4-6)
These verse seem to explain further what sinning against the Spirit involves.
It is final rejection after having experienced the amazing grace of God.
This is not a one time word, later regretted, but a confirmed rejection.
I also suspect it is more than a believer losing their faith, their hope.
It is someone who becomes an aggressive enemy of Jesus and the Spirit.
Like Paul, only the opposite: a passionate follower of Jesus becoming a passionate opponent.
It is not that forgiveness is withheld from them, though they want it.
It is that they are beyond forgiveness, because they are beyond accepting it.
If you WANT forgiveness, you have NOT committed the sin against the Holy Spirit.
It is the Spirit of Jesus in you that is convicting your heart to want forgiveness.
What do you sense the Lord saying to you?
PRAYER
Lord, I’ve had times when I turned from Your Spirit’s prompting, times when I sinned when I knew better. It is Your Spirit that convicts me, and Your Spirit that gives me hope.